


Never Getting Rid Of Me, Granger

by PTwritesmore



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Baking, Based on a Waitress Song, F/M, Facebook: Fremione Fanatics, Fluff, Fred Weasley Lives, Fremione - Freeform, Friends to Lovers, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Love Potion/Spell, Minor Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Mutual Pining, POV Hermione Granger, Pining, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-16 05:49:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28701720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PTwritesmore/pseuds/PTwritesmore
Summary: Fred Weasley won't leave Hermione alone as she tries to bake cakes for Harry's party at the Burrow. Can she shake the especially flirty twin while a potion leaves his system, or is he right that she'll never get rid of him? Fremione one shot fluff. Partly inspired by the song “Never Ever Getting Rid Of Me” because the part about naming a cat after a kind of fish reminded me of Fred and it grew from there.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Fred Weasley
Comments: 17
Kudos: 153





	Never Getting Rid Of Me, Granger

“Oh Fred, just leave me alone!” Hermione huffed as she waved the lanky ginger away from her spot at the kitchen counter. He was hovering across from her as she measured ingredients out, gazing deeply at her. She took a deep breath to regain her composure. “Why don’t you help Ron with the utensils?” Hermione asked as cheerful a tone she could manage, though her patience was wearing thin.   


“I will never let you let me leave, Hermione Granger,” Fred declared with bravado, propping his chin up on his knuckles and leaning over the counter. “I’m not going.”

Hermione sighed, letting her eyes drift skyward as she mentally wished for more patience. The Burrow kitchen was cramped on a good day, but with the event tonight, there was little spare room. Most of the family was bustling around the first floor with chores; Molly and Ginny cooking on the stove behind her, Ron polishing utensils in the corner, George and Percy cleaning the living room. Though it was more Percy cleaning with a side of gentle harassment from George as far as Hermione could tell from the next room. The rest of the Weasleys were outside working to get the back garden ready, with some help from friends. The only person not helping with the preparations was one Fredrick Gideon Weasley. His only contribution so far had been flirting shamelessly with Hermione. 

Avoiding his gaze, Hermione huffed and pushed her hair away from her face, which was bushier than normal, exploding in the August humidity and hot kitchen. She welcomed the cool air from the fridge as she pulled out the butter and milk she needed. Drops of sweat tricked from Hermione’s forehead as she poured milk into the measuring cup, matting some of her hair to the back. She had been baking all morning, contributing several cakes to Molly’s planned meal for the celebration. She nearly dropped the jug of milk as a clatter of cake pans behind her startled her. 

“Sorry,” Fred said, picking the cake pans up from the floor and wordlessly spelling the ingredients back to their proper space. Instead of going back to his spot across the counter from her, he stayed next to her, staring at her intensely. She could feel her neck growing even hotter the closer he got. 

“If you could just stop fiddling with the cake ingredients and make the cheese plate or something, that would be helpful,” Hermione said with a sigh as she put the milk jug down. “Just keep yourself occupied as we wait this out,” she added, knowing her plea bordered on desperation. 

“I know what I can do to keep myself occupied,” Fred reached to grab her hands with a goofy smile spreading across his face. 

“Oh, not this again,” Hermione evaded him and threw her hands up in exasperation as the Weasley clan around them laughed. Or most of the Weasley clan. From the corner where he was polishing utensils, Ron grew redder with every word Fred uttered. While their brief fling after the end of the war was deemed a disaster by both parties, Hermione knew her best friend would always be protective of her. This was especially true with Fred, given his reputation as a shameless flirt. Yet, today’s ordeal was a new level, even for him. 

“Why is the most brilliant witch I know making cakes by scratch anyway?” Fred asked cajolingly. “Aren’t there countless baking spells you could be using?” Hermione shook her head at the compliment, but was silently thankful he was actually conversing. 

“I wanted to do something special for Harry’s belated birthday celebration, especially since he’s been gone on mission for three weeks. Sometimes it’s nice to do things by hand,” Hermione shrugged as she stirred. “I’m used to baking this way anyway. At home I couldn’t do magic in the kitchen.” For a moment she thought of her mother, who loved to bake, but detested sugar. Even though their sugar free desserts were usually a flop, Hermione cherished those moments with her mom, singing songs while measuring out ingredients and laughing together as they decorated. She wondered if her mom still baked in her little kitchen in Australia. Hermione felt tears prick the corners of her eyes; no matter how much time passed, she always missed her parents. Just as she felt like she might actually cry, Fred’s voice rang out again, with an especially cheeky tone. 

“And they are very skilled hands indeed. I’d like to see what else you can do by ha-” Mrs. Weasley cut him off with a smack to the back of the head.

“That is quite enough! Leave the poor girl alone, Fred,” Molly yelled at her son before shooting Hermione an apologetic glance. Behind her Ginny covered her face to hide her laughter, making Hermione smile despite herself. “I can lock him up in his bedroom until this is out of his system, dear.”

“No, it is fine, Mrs. Weasley, er - Molly,” Hermione amended at Molly’s insistent glance. “The potion should wear off soon and I don’t mind keeping an eye on him... _ if _ he’ll stop touching the baking items,” Hermione said as she turned Fred with a pointed look. When he simply smiled sweetly in response, she looked up at the clock. “From what George said earlier, the formula they developed was a weak one and won’t take too long to wear off. I just can’t believe that the twins were testing potions on themselves. It is dangerously irresponsible!” Hermione leveled Fred with a withering glare, which only made him smile harder. 

“Someone has to make the magic happen,” George yelled from the next room. “Would you rather we go back to testing on 11 year olds?” Hermione scowled in his direction. 

“You boys!” Molly admonished. “Now we need to get ready for the party. I’m going to put fresh sheets on for Ron and Harry in Ron’s old room.”

“Like he’ll be sleeping there,” Hermione heard George mutter as he entered the kitchen. The brunette bit back a laugh, knowing that both Ginny and Harry would be sneaking out of their separate bedrooms tonight to spend the night together, as they did every night. While Ginny was technically Hermione’s flatmate, she spent most of her nights in her fiance’s room at Grimmauld, despite the other occupant’s complaints. They knew Ron was just putting on a show, actually incredibly happy his best friend and little sister were engaged. 

“Percy, George, Ron,” Molly continued as though she didn’t hear him, “degnome the garden then see if Charlie, Luna, and Neville need help finishing up with the tables outside. Ginny, help Hermione with the baking and keep an eye on your brother. I fear he is otherwise useless.”

“You’re just going to let him moon all over Hermione and he doesn’t have to do any work?” Ron griped. Molly hushed him before she set up the stairs. 

“Alright Mione?” Ron asked quietly while eyeing Fred. When she nodded he gave her a tight lipped smile and walked out the door, Percy following him. 

“If  _ you _ gave the love potion to him, why isn’t he clinging all over you?” Ginny asked George as he followed his out the back door. 

“He gave it to himself, technically,” George replied before breaking out into a Cheshire cat grin, mischief alive in his eyes. “We had a bet about if I’d find him alone with a mirror wan-”

“I believe,” Hermione cut George off with a warning look, “that since I’m the first non-family member he saw this morning, this potion made him fixate on me. You mentioned it was pheromone-based, right George?” George nodded, looking a bit put out he’d been cut off. “Well, that's what is happening. He is biologically programmed not to be attracted to his siblings and he saw me before Neville and Luna got here to help. No other reason for him to be interested in me.” 

“Hey,” Fred pouted from across the counter, putting his hands over his heart with an air of drama. “You wound me, Hermione! Comparing my affections to some sort of last resort,” Fred scoffed in indignation. 

“Come on then Granger, could you really deny my less attractive counterpart?” George slid next to his twin, giving her an identical look of outrage. 

“You mean the more intelligent twin?” Fred shot back at him with a smile.

“Oi! There goes my help then, wanker,” George said playfully as he shoved Fred. “Good luck with your lover there, Hermione!” George yelled back before he walked outside. 

“Lover has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it, beautiful?” Fred asked. Grinning madly, Ginny tiptoed into the next room. Hermione stared daggers into her back as she retreated. 

“Fred,” Hermione warned as she turned back to him. She was growing tired of his shenanigans. “Why don’t we work in silence?” This morning had been a long one, full of brash pickup lines, sweet nothings whispered to her, and full declarations of love. It was worse than anyone else realized, however, because these were things she secretly wanted to hear Fred say.

Hermione stomped her crush on Fred out methodically in her fourth year, eventually eyeing another handsome ginger with the last name Weasley. For months, Fred’s smile, his smell, his touch making her melt like Lavender sodding Brown. She dealt with it more quietly, thankfully, not telling a soul about her feelings and hiding it as best she could. It was a mortifying time period for Hermione; she’d memorized his class schedule, watched him from overtop of her book at quidditch games, and even purposefully monitored the twins pranking so they’d have an excuse to talk. It was largely forgotten about, especially when the twins were testing potions on first years or losing house points. Every once in a while when Fred would draw out her name as he teased her or wink deviously at her, she’d feel her heart flip. But she pushed that feeling down, buried it away as deeply as possible. There it stayed for multiple years. 

It was the aftermath of the war that brought her crush back with a vengeance. She was still living at the Weasleys when they finally brought Fred home from the hospital, two months after the battle. He was mostly bedridden for the summer months she was there, and often her only companion as everyone but Molly and Ginny had jobs. While he was recovering, they spent the summer playing games, talking about books, and brainstorming new product ideas together. With every look, every friendly hug, every laugh she pulled from his lips, Hermione’s crush crawled up from the deep grave she thought she’d let it rot in. This continued into her final year at Hogwarts, her heart doing that familiar flip every time his owl arrived for her. She knew Fred viewed her as nothing more than a friend, so she tried once more to bury her feelings. And here he was, professing his love for her in the kitchen. Logically she knew whatever potion they were testing was making him say and do these things, but her heart hadn’t gotten the memo. With each compliment, each lingering gaze, her heart took up gymnastics and she became more miserable. 

“No,” Fred jumped up from his leaning position and walked around the corner. “You need to know how I feel about you. I would paint you, but the art could never capture how beautiful you are. I would write you poetry, but words couldn’t express your kindness.” Hermione scoffed and moved to get the whisk. As she did, Fred closed the space between them with two large steps and cornered her where the two counters met. “I’d create new ultra-flashy Weasley whizbangs and they’d never be as brilliant as you!”

Hermione raised her eyebrows in annoyance at him, causing him to waggle his ginger ones back at her. As Hermione stepped to the left, Fred mirrored her movement, blocking her. When she stepped to the right, he mirrored her again. They danced back and forth like this a few times before Hermione shoved him gently, trying to push him to the side, but he was more solid than his slender form would indicate on first glance. Finally Hermione stopped and let out a groan. 

“Move Fredrick Gideon Weasley!” As she gave an exasperated yell, the tall ginger grabbed her waist and her breathing hitched. Suddenly she was 15 again, only this time, the boy she had a crush was actually paying attention. 

“I said I’m not moving,” Fred said, with one hand still on her waist. With a swirl of his other hand, he pulled a red rose out of thin air and presented it to Hermione. “A rose for my favorite English rose.” The pink patches on her cheeks glowed brighter and she grew more bitter. Wordlessly she exploded the flower, sending rose petals everywhere. 

“Well if you wanted me to cover the ground you walk on in rose petals, you need only ask, beautiful,” Fred said, unperturbed by the floral explosion. Hermione huffed and turned back to her cake mix. Fred returned back to his original spot across the counter, leaning as close as possible to her without falling. “Why won’t you let me bake with you? You’ve said how clever my magic is, let me try to help.” 

Just as Hermione opened her mouth to argue, Fred stuck his finger in the batter. He offered the batter to her, his finger outstretched with chocolate cake mix dripping down it, earning a glare from Hermione. The tall wizard shrugged and brought it to his own lips. She couldn’t look away as he stuck the finger in his mouth and sucked the batter off slowly, like he was relishing it. Shocked, Hermione stared up at him as his tongue darting out to lap the remaining batter off his finger. For a moment she wondered what his tongue would feel like against her own, but quickly tried to push the thought from her mind. “Oh, that’s quite good,” he murmured, his voice low and gravely. 

“Well, leave some for the rest of us,” Hermione said, forcing herself to turn away and focus her attention on making the filling on the other counter. She quickly sensed him standing behind her, close enough she could feel his body heat. 

“You’re playing hard to get,” he purred into her ear, his hot breath against her neck. A shiver went down her spine. As much as she wanted to turn around and kiss him, she knew that none of this was real. That she’d be taking advantage of someone under the influence of a potion, who didn’t find her attractive. The pressure of the afternoon finally made her crack, irritation flooding her. 

“I can’t take this anymore!” She yelled as she wandlessly threw the cakes into the over and stomped away. Hermione quickly walked out of the kitchen and spotted Ginny, who was trying to look as though she hadn’t been eavesdropping. “Could you watch him and make sure he doesn't follow me?” Hermione’s question was really more of a demand and she didn’t give Ginny a chance to respond before she walked out the front of the house and sank into the front steps. Hermione took deep breaths, counting under her breath to calm herself down. After a few minutes of this, Hermione felt the frustration leaving her, embarrassment taking its place. 

“Alright, Granger?” A familiar voice asked, one she didn’t want to talk to right now. Hermione looked up, panicking before spotting a missing ear and realizing she was staring into George’s chocolate eyes rather than Fred’s. 

“What do you want?” Hermione asked, harsher than she intended. She bit the inside of her mouth to keep herself from saying anything else while she was in this mood. 

“Oh hello to you too,” George responded with a nonchalant grin. “My uglier half have you hiding out instead of baking?”

“Yes!” Hermione exclaimed. “I mean, I just needed a break from his...attention. It is quite a lot.”

“Not interested in his attention then?” George asked. “As an objective outside observer, it looked like you were enjoying it.” Hermione shook her head quickly.

“I don’t-”

“Were you hoping for someone more charming then? You don’t have to be afraid to admit it, Hermione. He’ll understand, I  _ am _ the more attractive twin,” George said with a wink.

“No -”

“No, you think Fred isn’t attractive at all? I think maybe I should be offended by that too.”

“It isn’t that -”

“Oh, so you do think he’s attractive then?” George asked smugly. Hermione opened her mouth to give him a piece of her mind, but he held up his hand to cut her off. “Save the declarations of love for him, wrong twin to confess to.” George winked as Hermione scowled. “It’s not as though he’s been muttering your name in his sleep since the Yule Ball,” the ginger added with an amused smirk. “Merlin knows I don’t want to think about what he’s been dreaming about.” Before she could question him, he disappeared around the corner, hands in his pocket as he whistled a cheerful tune. Hermione looked after him, dumbfounded by their exchange. After a few minutes in silence, she realized she needed to check on the cakes and went back inside. 

“Hermione, there you are!” Molly greeted her as soon as Hermione walked back into the house. “Don’t you worry dear, after Ginny told me what happened, I locked him upstairs. Why don’t you finish your baking?” Hermione finished the rest of her cake-making in silence, turning over George’s words in her head the entire time. She wondered if this was some sort of prank, though she doubted George would ever be so cruel as to lie about something like that. 

Hours later, the Burrow was buzzing with guests, waiting for the belated birthday boy. Hermione had arranged her chocolate almond Battenberg and Victoria sandwich next to Harry’s all time favorite treat, the treacle tart that Molly had made this morning. Out of the corner of her eye, Hermione spotted Fred walking out of the house towards the gathering crowd in the garden. She quickly darted away from the cake table, skirting her friends, and escaping into the house. The witch locked herself in the bathroom and caught a look at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. 

“Coward,” she whispered at herself, shaking her head. She wondered how someone who battled Death Eaters and fought in a war could be so afraid of facing their friend. After hiding out for a few minutes, Hermione figured that enough people would have arrived now that she could easily avoid Fred for the rest of the day. Tomorrow, they’d apologize to each other and things would return back to normal. As Hermione walked out the bathroom door, she ran directly into the sturdy chest of one of the Weasley twins. She looked up and froze when she spotted both ears. Thankfully, Fred looked just as surprised and embarrassed as she felt. 

“Can you look at me without waxing poetic?” Hermione asked lightly, with a tentative smile. Fred’s cheeks tinted pink, which prompted that familiar heart flip. Neither of the twins were prone to embarrassment, so seeing Fred blush was rather new. Hermione thought he looked especially handsome, flushed and sheepish. 

“I am so sorry Hermione,” the man whispered, sounding unusually genuine. Fred ran his hand through his ginger hair, eyes trained on his feet. “Today was mortifying. I’m sure it was even worse for you.”

“It’s okay,” Hermione said as she reached out to give his arm a squeeze. “You were under a potion, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. Everyone knows you’d never look at me that way.” Hermione dropped her hand, now awkwardly hanging at her side. 

Fred furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “Are you mental, Granger? Any bloke with eyes would look at you that way.” 

“Stop teasing me, Fred,” Hermione rolled her eyes and started to push past him. “Let’s go finish setting up. Harry will be here any minute.” She stopped when his arm shot out in front of her, blocking her route down the hallway. 

“Hermione, look at me,” Fred said seriously. Hesitantly she tore her eyes from her escape route up to him. “You are stunning. But more than that, you are absolutely brilliant. One of the best inventors I’ve ever met and surprisingly good at Exploding Snap. You’re kind and thoughtful and scary as hell when you want to be,” the ginger said quickly, like the words were tumbling out of his mouth with zero control. “And charitable, given that you’ve been friends with my little brother all these years,” Fred added, his light tone and smirk making him look like himself again. 

“Fred!” Hermione tried to act cross, but it was hard when Fred was smiling at her like that. 

“Everything I said today, I meant. Although I delivered it in a much more embarrassing way than I ever planned to.” He removed his hand, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. 

She tipped her head back to study him, biting her lip worriedly at him. At her movement, he tilted his head down, his eyes dark and hungry in a way she’d never seen them before. A heavy pause passed in the little remaining space between them, just long enough for Hermione to hear her own voice whispering from the corner of her mind “ _ coward _ .” Surprising herself, Hermione stepped up on her toes and their lips collided. The room became an inferno, Hermione’s heartbeat pounding so loudly she was worried Fred could hear it. His hands slid around her waist and she snaked her hands into the shiny long ginger mess she’d wanted to grab for years. She tugged Fred closer and he responded in kind, wrapping his arms tighter around her waist. Hermione traced the seam of his lips until he opened, her tongue exploring the dark cavern of his mouth. As she melted into his warm chest further, she heard a groan from deep in Fred’s throat. The noise broke her out of the trance his lips held over her. She tore away, breathing heavily. He leaned down, resting his forehead to her’s and smiling widely.

“Well, you’re certainly never getting rid of me  _ now _ ,” Fred whispered, his lips just centimeters from her own. 

“Surprisingly, that sounds good to me,” she replied with a cheeky smile before kissing him again. The party preparation faded into the background of their minds and they found themselves getting lost in each other. 

“Hang on, we can’t stay here,” Fred whispered as he broke away. The redhead looked around before he tugged her hand, leading her upstairs. “Too many nosy siblings.” After months of living there, Hermione knew privacy was a luxury that the Burrow didn’t exactly afford and followed him happily towards his childhood bedroom. She closed the door quietly just as Fred captured her lips with his. 

“I told you she liked him,” Ginny boasted from down the hall, flashing George a look of triumph over their extendable ear. “Now pay up.” George chuckled, wondering if Hermione would ever spill to Ginny about his little intervention and that he helped her win this bet. 

“Switching out the love potion for a placebo was brilliant. Maybe you can join Freddie and I at the shop after you’re down with the Harpies. Now let’s go surprise the birthday boy.” The ginger siblings smiled at each other before silently backing away, taking the extendable ears with them. 


End file.
